Life Options
Aug 12
I’m still at the effect of my flooded basement that happened late in June. As much as I hate to admit it I have allowed it to hijack the wonderful summer plans that I had made. My free time has been spent selecting paint colors and new carpeting and painting and sorting and [...] [...more]
I’m still at the effect of my flooded basement that happened late in June. As much as I hate to admit it I have allowed it to hijack the wonderful summer plans that I had made. My free time has been spent selecting paint colors and new carpeting and painting and sorting and pitching. Lots of sorting and pitching!
I’ve become acutely aware of how often I allow my time to become hijacked and I become at the affect of what is happening instead of holding steady my course whether it is developing new workshops and expanding my coaching practice or just having fun with friends.
Is the way you spend your time and energy in line with your priorities? I recommit to spending time on what is most important. A recent client – in fact many recent clients – state that their family is most important to them. Yet they save the best of themselves and most of their time for their career. For most people the big three are relationships –career and health. What is most important to you? Does the way you use your time and energy reflect this.
Aligning your priorities is one way of being in integrity with yourself. What do you really want in your life? Are you merely complaining about it or are you willing to do something. Are you willing to take one small easy action step to move you in the direction of what you most want???
As a coach I am willing to support you in achieving your big rock goals. I co create transformation igniting my clients to step into their full power and creativity.
What are your big rocks?
Let’s make them happen together.
Until next time,
Amy Barnes, MA MBA LMHC
May 11
Angela (not her real name), a coaching client, says she wants to be an advertising executive. She felt this was what she should be doing, but always said so with a little but not much enthusiasm. I tell her that she talks about this in a manner so flat and so lifeless [...] [...more]
Angela (not her real name), a coaching client, says she wants to be an advertising executive. She felt this was what she should be doing, but always said so with a little but not much enthusiasm. I tell her that she talks about this in a manner so flat and so lifeless that no one would hire her. She nods knowing this is true, even though I know she does not like to hear the truth spoken out loud.
When Angela talked about doing art work with children and her voice became energized. She feels authentic. Her voice, her body language and her words all match from a place deep inside her. Her eyes sparkled and her body became animated. When I pointed this out to Angela, her shoulder caved in. I can’t. I’m not trained. I wouldn’t know what to do.
The next story she tells me is of doing art projects with three young kids. Again she is beaming. Again she tells me she wants to be a graphic designed and that she can’t work with kids.
Sometimes our bodies tell us clearly what we want to do. Sometimes we know exactly what we want to do but we deny it to ourselves. Sometimes we have old beliefs that what we want is not acceptable. Sometimes we try to please others but doing what we think they see as the best past for us.
In Angela’s world she went to school to be in advertising. She feels that is what she must do. She feels tied for life to being something and is afraid to see that this no longer fits her.
Are you tied to a career or lifestyle that no longer fits you but is based on old beliefs or other people’s expectations of you???
What is it you most want? What makes your eyes sparkle and puts a smile on your face? Are you willing to trust yourself and just do it?
Until next time,
Amy Barnes, MBA, LMHC and Life Coach
May 05
What’s your marker of success? How will you know when you are successful? Will you have 40 million in investments, a second home in Florida or Tuscany, CEO of your own Multi million dollar company or happily married or retired from a job you dread?
What if you could be happy now?
I now choose to measure [...] [...more]
What’s your marker of success? How will you know when you are successful? Will you have 40 million in investments, a second home in Florida or Tuscany, CEO of your own Multi million dollar company or happily married or retired from a job you dread?
What if you could be happy now?
I now choose to measure my success by the sense of peace and joy I feel each day, in the moment. Yes in this very moment. For this moment is the only moment we are guaranteed. Time spent fretting about past events or worrying about future events only keeps us from enjoying and being present in this moment.
Take a deep breath and notice how you feel in this moment, tension in your body, anger sadness, fear or joy or a sense of peace. By the way are you breathing or holding your breath? We only exist in this moment – no longer are we in the past and the future has not yet happened.
I choose to be fully alive and thoroughly embrace this moment. Yes I would choose to have millions in the bank or be happily married or spending the afternoon at a villa in Tuscany. Yet we know that neither money nor a relationship is a guarantee of happiness.
Last weekend in Santa Barbara, I gathered with Kathlyn Hendricks and several of my Hendricks buddies – other Hendricks coaches from the Hendricks Institute to play and learn in an Advanced Leadership Training Program. The experience left me feeling expansive and joyful.
Learning to be present in the moment sounds so simple yet for most of us it is quite difficult. In the moment I may feel angry or sad or scared yet, being in the moment allows those feeling to pass through me and to return to a sense of peace and joy. Mastering these skills is an advanced move. As a coach I am ready to assist those who are ready to learn these and other tools to transform your life and allow you to love the life you are living now!
Until next time,
Amy Barnes, Life Coach for Body, Mind, Spirit and Relationships.
Apr 15
Years ago I sold for Xerox. When I started we had few competitors, people did not yet see the need for a copier. Like all relatively new technology copiers were expensive. I did not see myself as a natural sales person. Yet somehow I got the job. One hundred people interviewed for two spots so [...] [...more]
Years ago I sold for Xerox. When I started we had few competitors, people did not yet see the need for a copier. Like all relatively new technology copiers were expensive. I did not see myself as a natural sales person. Yet somehow I got the job. One hundred people interviewed for two spots so I figured my new employer knew something I did not.
I didn’t thrive because of my fear. Most prospective buyers said, “No.” I did not like to be told No. First even though in our sales training we were told most people would say no, the rest of me did not get it. My fledgling self esteem was daily beaten down by the No’s. Often I would sit in my car a block or two from the prospect’s office just trying to gather enough nerve to go in. Despite my fear and lack of knowledge, most months I managed to hit or exceed my quota. Now I know I would have benefitted greatly from a Life Coach.
I was too afraid to ask for help. I allowed myself to be over run and limited by my fear. I was embarrassed by my fear, afraid to admit how I felt. I was certain that no one else ever felt that way. After all nobody ever talked about it. Sales meeting were always about how wonderful we were. I found them to be of absolutely no help because they did not deal with the problems and issues that I had. I found this to be further evidence that I did not fit in. I saw myself as having no options. Today looking back I can see tons of options – Maybe that it why I named my coaching business Life Options.
First I did not understand the sales process. I was going to get lots of No’s. Today we call that filling the pipeline. Lots of prospects convert to lots of potential sales and Yes’s also, lots of potential No’s. I know now that I could have welcomed the No’s as a realization that I was getting much closer to more and more Yes’s.
Second, I could have asked for help. I was too embarrassed. Was I going to get fired on the spot for something I did not even know I was supposed to know? Here I was a young 20 something, thinking I was supposed to know it all. How great to be old and wise and know how much I don’t know. Now I love to ask questions.
Third, I didn’t understand my fear. Maybe that’s one of the things that eventually got me into the therapy and coaching profession. Feeling the fear let’s me know I’m alive. Fear does not have to keep me from doing anything I want. Being able to feel strong emotions (also anger and sadness and the other two basic feelings, joy and sexual feelings) are normal and healthy. Its not feeling the feelings that causes the problems it is what we choose to do with our feelings that does.
I choose to let my fear dictate what I did. I left Xerox and took a really big hit on my self esteem and self confidence. I realize that in my life fear has kept me from doing a number of things. No more!
Yesterday, I visited a Toastmaster’s meeting. Years ago I attended Toastmasters regularly and highly recommend it. I was surprised as my stomach clenched as I got up to respond to a Table Topics question on taxes. As I often get up and talk in front of groups, I was surprised by my response: fear. Yes, I am alive. I’m glad to be here. Thanks for the reminder! Thanks for the opportunity! And twenty seconds later the fear was gone.
Let me see, what can I do today to stretch my fear muscle? What has your fear been keeping you from doing? It’s ok, feel the fear and do it anyway!
Until next time,
Amy Barnes MBA MA LHMC and Life Coach
Apr 13
by Amy Barnes
OK the first quarter results are in for your business and also your life and your relationships. How did you do? Are you patting yourself on the back or ready to make changes?
As a coach I support people in making changes in their lives that help them thrive [...] [...more]
by Amy Barnes
OK the first quarter results are in for your business and also your life and your relationships. How did you do? Are you patting yourself on the back or ready to make changes?
As a coach I support people in making changes in their lives that help them thrive in all areas of their lives. As a gardener, I love seeing all my plants thrive. Yesterday, I cut back my butterfly bushes. It is hard for me to cut back the bushes when there is new growth on them. Yet as any gardener 
knows the bushes will only thrive if I prune them.
What needs pruning in your life? Spring is a great time for letting go of what is no longer working and putting into practice new strategies, new ideas and new structure. It is also time to take stock of what is working. The old phrase ‘don’t through the baby out with the bath water” sounds so absurd but we tend to either keep on track keeping everything the same or we go the opposite direction and in frustration throw everything out and start over again.
What is working for you? What are the structures or routines or rituals that are working for you and that you most enjoy? What helps pull you along in a delightful way to thrive both at work and at home while enjoying life to the fullest?
I find making regular dates with myself and keeping them just like I would keep appointments with clients is a great help. Planning becomes a very positive and proactive word. Before the business of the day starts, I take time to spend on what is most important to me. If I start the day with a project or conversation with a friend that is in the long run most beneficial to me and my business, I feel energized all day long.
On the other hand if I start my day by checking my email, fighting fires and doing whatever pops up, I never seem to get to what is most important. I feel drained all day. Merely allowing myself an hour or even a half hour at the beginning of each day for big projects or important conversations has made a tremendous difference in what I can accomplish and get done and how I feel about myself.
What about you? What routines or rituals or structures are most important to you? Is they anything you could change that would give you more energy or more time or more business?
Until next time,
Amy Barnes, MBA MA LMHC and Life Coach
Sep 08
On to day four of blogging. Learning to upload a picture. My dog is named Char and he is my personal trainer. I appreciate his persistence.
He was named after Prince Charmant from the movie and book Ella Enchanted which at that point in time was my youngest daughter’s all time favorite book.
He’s [...] [...more]
On to day four of blogging. Learning to upload a picture. My dog is named Char and he is my personal trainer. I appreciate his persistence.
He was named after Prince Charmant from the movie and book Ella Enchanted which at that point in time was my youngest daughter’s all time favorite book.
He’s energetic and loving, a previously abused dog from the Humane Society and a small 60 pound mostly Lab and Pointer mix.
Currently he is serving as my personal trainer. He loves playing Frisbee and most of all taking walks and runs. He helps me stay motivated on days I don’t want to go for walks. He shows his displeasure in no uncertain terms when he is ignored. He actually prefers running to walking which takes my exercising to a whole different level. Like a good coach he is constantly trying to improve my level of physical fitness.
As a coach, I am constantly encouraging my clients to be the best that they can be, to break through their own personally created glass ceilings. Char in his own loving way sees no limit to the amount his humans can walk, run and play with him. As a coach I work with clients to uncover and dissolve any preset limits or beliefs about how successful or how happy they can be.
We all thrive with a little bit of love, appreciation and motivation. Who either two legged or four legged can you appreciate today? Who is it that gives you a gentle nudge and helps you be your best?
We can all use more appreciation.
Spend a moment to thank that person (or four legged friend) today!
Post a comment and let me know who you most appreciate.
Amy
Aug 27
What are the questions you have been grappling with? More and more I have become interested in big question. Asking bigger questions allows my focus to shift, my out look to change. Focusing on what’s for lunch is a very different question than focusing on how can we best allocate the world resources so everyone [...] [...more]
What are the questions you have been grappling with? More and more I have become interested in big question. Asking bigger questions allows my focus to shift, my out look to change. Focusing on what’s for lunch is a very different question than focusing on how can we best allocate the world resources so everyone can have lunch.
So many questions and so few answers. Can I be at peace without the questions answered and be at peace or even happy or joyful in the moment? Am I using my time wisely? How can I be the best me I can be? What’s the purpose of life? What old beliefs do I want to surrender what new ones do I choose to believe in?
How can I best use my talents and gifts that I have. What are the talents and gifts that I have that others would find useful?
How can I increase my capacity for joy and abundance?
How can I make this world a better place?
How can I most easefully and joyfully live, work, play and create abundance in my zone of genius and inspire others to do the same?
I love Gay Hendricks questions in his book The Big Leap. http://www.thebigleap.net/ “What is my Genius? How can I bring forth my genius in ways that serve others and myself at the same time? What is my unique ability and how do I articulate it?”
For Einstein the big question was “Did God have a choice when He created the Universe?”
What’s your big question?
Amy Barnes
Apr 21
There’s cell phones, email, Tweets and the power of social networking. Do you ever want to just disconnect from it all? What’s it like to be disconnected?
Last Thursday, I was in a snowstorm in Boulder, Colorado. I was driving a rental car with strange and different compartments to hold cups and other items from my [...] [...more]
There’s cell phones, email, Tweets and the power of social networking. Do you ever want to just disconnect from it all? What’s it like to be disconnected?
Last Thursday, I was in a snowstorm in Boulder, Colorado. I was driving a rental car with strange and different compartments to hold cups and other items from my car at home. I set my cell phone down into what would have been where I keep my cell phone in my Rav 4, but in this case it was where I had just placed a cup of hot tea.
Last night on a call with Gay Hendricks, Gay asked me what I was really committed to when I did that. At first that may sound like a strange question. Yet at some level I was committed to at least temporarily destroying my cell phone because that is exactly what I did. We always do what we are committed to. This may (and frequently does differ from what we say we are committed to.
In my case I was on vacation and had received more business calls that I wanted to deal with. I literally had wanted to disconnect from the business world and just relax and enjoy myself without outside interruption.
I had just completed a delightful dinner with a group of close friends at a wonderful Thai restaurant. I wanted to play without the intrusion of the outside world. After dropping my cell phone in the hot tea I quite literally became “cut off”
At first I was frustrated with myself for such a stupid action but then I enjoyed my days of disconnection. For me there was something quite powerful about being disconnected. I enjoyed the uninterrupted spaciousness of just having time for me. As a result I felt more energized and enthusiastic about reconnecting with my work and the world.
Next time I need a break, I’ll just remember to turn off my cell phone and my computer first. I look forward to making regular times for me to be disconnected and to recharge my batteries.
When do you take the time for yourself?
How do you disconnect from the demands and pressures of your everyday life?
Amy Barnes
Apr 06
Do you think of yourself as a creative person? Most people do not think of themselves as creative.
Do you like to paint or sculpt or write or play music? Most of us think of creativity associated with the arts, but everyone has the potential to be creative. You may be a creative cook or [...] [...more]
Do you think of yourself as a creative person? Most people do not think of themselves as creative.
Do you like to paint or sculpt or write or play music? Most of us think of creativity associated with the arts, but everyone has the potential to be creative. You may be a creative cook or a creative sales rep, a creative engineer or a creative vacation planner.
Being creative for you may mean finding creative ways to increase sales for your business. Creativity for you may mean coming up with a new way of expressing yourself or tweaking your same old presentation style in a way that allows you to feel more alive and generates different responses from your audience. Creativity can make the difference between blah and WOW!
Challenge yourself to be more creative. Start by driving a new way to work or trying a food you haven’t eaten or exploring a place you have never been to before. Creativity can be as simple as being fully present in the moment. Notice the sights, sounds, smells, feelings you are experiencing right now without judging yourself or your experience. Be open to the unexpected.
I have had several requests to once again offer an Artist Way group for exploring and enhancing your creativity. As a Life Coach I want to encourage and support you in being your best creative self at home, at work and in your relationships.
Let me know it you are interested in joining us. Come and enjoy exploring and discovering your own particular brand of creativity.
Amy
Mar 17
Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, burned out?
Learning breathing techniques is one of the most powerful tools available to decrease stress and help you regain focus and clarity.
On Saturday, March, 21, 2009, Amy will be offering a breathing workshop based on the work of Gay Hendricks one of the top breathing experts in the world. www.hendricks.com
Breathing [...] [...more]
Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, burned out?
Learning breathing techniques is one of the most powerful tools available to decrease stress and help you regain focus and clarity.
On Saturday, March, 21, 2009, Amy will be offering a breathing workshop based on the work of Gay Hendricks one of the top breathing experts in the world.
www.hendricks.com
Breathing is important for releasing stress, feeling good, increasing energy and flexibility, improving the mind body connection, and increasing flow and joy.
Experience breath work as a pathway to your inner soul.
Come in comfortable clothes and shoes.
|
The Yes Breath
Saturday
9am to noon
St. Luke’s UMC Cost $15
|
|
Call Amy at 317-257-7544 for more info.
|
